Intriguingly, research has shown that using these fragrances has a marked influence on the female's ability to function. In a study conducted by researchers at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia, men and women were placed in a room odorized with one of three scents: a floral scent, a bathroom smell or a neutral smell. Half were told that they were going to smell an odor that might affect their performance on a test; the other half were told nothing. Women who were told about the smell performed better than women who weren't, regardless of the actual odor in the test room. The study author and sensory psychologiest Avery Gilbert, Ph.D., concluded that "women work on the assumption that fragrance is good and improves life."

Interestingly, the men who were told about the smells performed worse, probably because the odors distracted them. Which may in fact be perfume's real purpose: As a subtle form of chemical warfare, it distracts men from issues at hand, making it easier for feminine creatures to win arguments, break down men's resolve, and convince us to buy more perfume ... like the breasts :)

The female's discriminating nature -- due to heavier investment in reproduction -- also makes for long and often laborious orgasms. While the method to the male orgasm is simple (fire sperm, place face on pillow, fall asleep, dream about pizza), The woman's orgasm is more complex, requiring long rhythmic contractions to help retain the sperm the man has ejaculated. Says Thornhill, "Because women are more selective about sex partners (I hope to shout!), they need to work harder at retaining the incoming sperm." These muscle contractions help by pulling the sperm toward the cervix -- which, coincidentally, saves on laundry :)

The cuddling that follows may be a response to the female's orgasmic release of something called oxytocin, which is not an acne medication. "It's a social-bonding hormone in mammals that gives the woman a warm, bonding feeling," per Thornhill. It is also rumored to have the same chemical makeup as "new car smell" ... LOLOL ...it's true!